This is Hospice Care: ‘They didn’t just look after my husband with loving care, they looked after myself and my family’

Dennis and Prue Blake

Dove House Hospice is taking part in the national This is Hospice Care campaign, run by Hospice UK. The initiative unites over 140 hospices across England, Scotland and Wales to raise awareness about the critical role hospice care plays in communities, and to encourage public support for these vital services. Here, Prue Blake talks about the care her late husband Dennis received at Dove House in the final stages of his life, as well as the support she received after

A moment of reflection

As I sat in the sunshine next to a large pond, watching carp swim lazily – golden ones, white ones and large grey ones cruising like mini submarines – I reflected that I could be anywhere in the world.

Doves were cooing in the trees, and I was eating perfectly poached eggs on brown toast. A fountain sprayed water onto the surface of the pond, causing ripples that reflected the surrounding greenery. I could have been on holiday.

My order for breakfast of “anything you want” had been delivered on a tray, and I could make a drink for myself at any time.

Where was I? Actually, I was in Hull – to be precise, I was at Dove House Hospice. This is hospice care.

Inside, my husband of nearly 57 years lay in bed, in the latter stages of his life. He had been diagnosed with prostate cancer just a year ago, and with lung cancer in the autumn. He was admitted to the hospice when it became apparent that he needed more care than could be given at home.

Gratitude for home care and the NHS

He had excellent carers at home, I couldn’t praise highly enough. He had always been accident-prone and had various illnesses throughout his life. As a family, we are very grateful to the NHS for his various interventions. We are so fortunate to have our amazing NHS.

Quickly though, his illness became too much to manage at home, and our nurse arranged for Dennis to be admitted into Dove House Hospice. It was apparent from the very first minute that this was where he needed to be. Staff welcomed us, told us their names, asked for ours and made Dennis comfortable in bed.

The unique atmosphere of Dove House

Dove House is somehow different – hard to put my finger on exactly how, but I think it’s because the staff were plentiful and had time.

A fresh-faced doctor sat with my son, my daughter and myself and gave us a lot of information about how Dennis would be cared for, but she also wanted to know about Dennis – what sort of person he was, his personality, how he coped with things, his approach to life and what were his (and our) priorities as to how he should be cared for.

Because he was so ill, visiting was permitted at any time, night or day, with no restrictions on the number of visitors, although Dennis did manage to indicate that he only wanted close family. Our younger son travelled up from Northampton as he had been doing during Dennis’ illness (thank goodness for working from home), and throughout the day we were either all together, but also able to come and go. At least one of us was with Dennis, more often than not all of us.

I stayed over, and staff set up a bed for me in the room and made sure I was fed and watered. The food was excellent and varied and cooked in the hospice’s kitchen.

Understanding the hospice ethos

I worked for social services for many years and had always been aware of Dove House. Indeed, service users (clients) had been admitted, but I didn’t know much about the inner workings, and I certainly didn’t know the ethos of the hospice movement – which is, amongst other things, to provide pain and symptom control.

Dennis was put onto a syringe driver which delivered his medication over 24 hours. The medication was renewed every 24 hours and adjusted as necessary. In the meantime, if he needed more pain relief or something to help him relax, it could be delivered by a cannula in his arm.

Care beyond measure

The staff didn’t just look after Dennis with loving care, they looked after myself and my family. They couldn’t do enough for us, providing food if we wanted it and even arranging for me to sleep in the same room as Dennis. Eventually, John also spent the night at Dove House as well.

They provided a shoulder to cry on when we needed it and gave us love and support in abundance.

It didn’t matter who they were or what their jobs were – doctors, nurses, care staff, cooks, domestic staff – all brilliant people. They treated us as individuals, understanding that we had our own needs, concerns, and worries, supporting us, keeping us informed and involved.

Final days and lasting memories

Dennis was at Dove House for five days. In the last two days, it was obvious that he was deteriorating, and we played his favourite music – Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, John Lennon, Hot Chocolate, to name a few, plus his favourite classical tracks.

In the middle of the afternoon, one of the nurses explained the signs that his body was dying. We were all with him when he died. It was teatime, we held him, we cried, and the nurses cried too.

I had forgotten to take some clean t-shirts, so for a couple of days, Dennis wore those provided by the hospice – a nice orange one, and on the day he died, he had an England football top on, complete with three lions which we asked if he could keep on.

We were given as much time as we needed to spend with him in the room. I didn’t want to leave him in the room, so the nurses arranged for us to accompany him to the door of the morgue. This meant closing the doors to all other patient rooms, and the staff lined up to pay their respects. It all felt so genuine, as if he was the only person to have ever died at the hospice.

A plea for support

I can’t praise the Hospice staff highly enough. What was a traumatic and difficult time was eased and soothed for us by them.

I wonder if the majority of members of the public know that the hospice is almost totally reliant on funding from donations and all manner of fundraising activities. The hospice shops are a major source of income, with only a small percentage of funding comes from the NHS.

Dove House Hospice is a wonderful, wonderful place, caring for people at their most vulnerable, supporting and caring for their loved ones, and we as a family are fundraising with various events.

If you can leave an amount in your will, you will be making a valuable contribution and helping hospice care live on for all, for now, forever. Let’s face it, we all know someone who will need Dove House’s services one day. It could even be me, or you.

• To learn more about how you can support Dove House through a legacy donation or other means, visit  www.dovehouse.org.uk/wills2025 or email fundraising@dovehouse.org.uk.