Meet the nursery nurse who is bucking the trend

AWARD WINNER: Carl Hathway

Nursery worker Carl Hathway has been recognised with a national award. Kevin Shoesmith paid him a visit

To the children, he’s just the nice person who changes their nappy and comforts them when they’re sad.

And Carl Hathway, 21, wouldn’t have it any other way.

He’s pretty damn good at it, too.

Carl has been named Practitioner of the Year by the National Day Nurseries Association – a coveted accolade made even more special because it was parents’ votes that got him shortlisted.

It doesn’t appear to faze him in the slightest that he’s a young man in a sector dominated by women. 

“I’m just Mr Hathway,” he says, laughing. “The children don’t see me ‘the man nursery nurse’. Why would they? To them, it’s perfectly normal. It’s lovely. I think, as adults, we tend to overthink certain things.” 

In fact, the only time a child has ever raised his gender was when taking him to task on his dress sense.

Carl says: “This little girl told me, ‘You’re a man – you shouldn’t be wearing a cardigan!’ I told her I can wear a cardigan. I explained how lots of men like to wear cardigans because they’re so comfortable. I just happen to prefer them to jumpers. Michelle, our manager, brought in some magazines to show her how even celebrities wear cardigans.

“I am always telling the children that they can be whatever they want to be in life. Your gender doesn’t matter. If you’re a girl, you can be a firefighter or a police officer.” 

We’re sitting in the office of Elloughton Private Day Nursery. Carl has the confidence of a more experienced man. His enthusiasm is infectious. This is a man who can’t wait for that alarm clock to go off in the morning.

“It’s a fantastic job,” he says, learning forward in his chair. “At this age, the children’s minds are little sponges. We have an important role. Our job is to set them off on the right path in life.

“It’s such a privilege being a nursery nurse. You really get to see their little personalities come out. You also, of course, get to see all those milestones – those first steps, the first words, you name it. Between the ages of two and three, there’s a big push on potty training so they’re ready for school. It’s fantastic to think that four months ago a child was in nappies, now they’re telling you they need a wee.” 

CARING: Carl Hathway at work

Carl hopes scooping such a high-profile award will encourage other men into what he sees is the world’s best job.

“It was fantastic that a man won it,” he says. “It shows others that can do an exceedingly good job in a female-dominated environment. Fewer than 10 per cent of childcare workers in the UK are men. I’d like that to change.” 

He started working here on September 28th, 2015; initially as an apprentice. He’d seen an advert on a government website. Carl completed on-the-job training through Goole-based First Avenue Training Centre.

“I have two younger siblings,” he says. “At the time, my brother Liam was four and my sister Abigail was six. I wanted to understand what makes young children tick.

“Our deputy manager, Melanie Thompson, showed me the ropes and was really supportive throughout my apprenticeship.”

Carl is at pains to point out most people are only too happy to have him looking after their little treasures.

But there are exceptions.

For a few moments, Carl’s trademark smile disappears as he tells of clear discrimination he has faced.

“A few years ago, we had a parent who did not want me changing his child’s nappy because – and I quote – ‘of what you see in the news’. Initially, I laughed it off. But later on, when I got home, I thought about what had been said. 

“I know, and so does everyone else, that there’s nothing wrong with me. It’s their prejudice. But it did get to me. It’s worth mentioning that the last three serious cases of child abuse had been committed by women. People tend to think it’s just men, it’s not. 

“It’s really sad that someone could think that of me simply because I am a male nursery nurse. It’s disappointing that there’s still a stigma just because of your sex.” 

The nursery welcomes visits, enabling parents to gain a feel for the place prior to enrolling their children.  

“During these visits, some parents have said they are not comfortable having a man look after their child,” says Carl, who says his girlfriend, family and friends were entirely supportive of his career choice. 

In his experience, younger parents tend to be more tolerant.

“The under 30s – my generation - appear to be more open to change,” he says. “That’s just what I’ve seen.”

Carl says he hopes talking about his award and the discrimination he has faced will help tackle gender stereotyping.

“It’s good to have different perspectives that both sexes have,” he says. “It’s a great job, but it’s very demanding. You have to be on it all the time. You have to meet the needs of every child. One child might need a nappy change. Another might want you to be a pirate. Then a third child might want you to build a tower, so you’ve got the cups out too.”     

Carl is keen to thank the parents of children who attend the nursery. Many of them attended a party at Blackies in Brough to celebrate his award.

“I spent the summer doing Camp America,” he says. “It meant I couldn’t attend the award ceremony. Michelle Scott, our manager, and Kim Craven, our managing director, went and collected it on my behalf. We then had a do at Blackies last month. It was just a really nice night.

“Most parents just want to see their child to be well looked after and happy,” he says. “It doesn’t bother them at all that I’m a man.”