‘You get a special feeling when you raise money and it helps with the grieving process’
MOTIVATION: Emma Waudby
Chewing the Fat, out to lunch with Phil Ascough
This month’s guest: Emma Waudby
Venue: The Old Lamp Room
Having lunch with a woman who lost a daughter to cot death. We’re in a restaurant where the owner faces the grimmest prognosis as she undergoes treatment for cancer. How’s your day going?
In truth, we’re not descending into a pit of despair. Kasha Gravill has put her heart and soul into creating one of the best restaurants in the region, well aware that it could be her legacy.
Emma Waudby has spent most of the last 12 months raising funds to mark what would have been the 21st birthday of Lauren Rose, who died in September 2003 when she was just 18 weeks old.
The Hull Story has covered the fundraising in detail, and with diligence and sensitivity. A couple of months ago a Humber Business Week colleague was reading his copy as we waited for a meeting to start. He admitted to being choked by the impact of the story, and he put the paper away to read privately later.
That would appear to be the reaction of so many people.
“Originally we thought the dinner would be about 80 per cent corporate and 20 per cent family and friends but it ended up the other way round,” said Emma.
“Once I became confident we would hit the target, the focus was on delivering a memorable experience. It had to be all about Lauren and even though it was such a sad occasion it also had to be a celebration.
“It was expensive for people who would not normally spend that kind of money but they wanted to experience it. So many had not been to that style of event before. I wanted everybody to walk in and think ‘Oh wow!’ and I wanted them to walk out and say it was the best thing they had ever been to, and that’s what happened.”
NEVER FORGOTTEN: Baby Lauren Rose Waudby
Emma suspects that part of the motivation for many who supported the event was to make up for missed opportunities when Lauren Rose passed.
“I was only 26 when it happened and I was the first person among everybody I knew to experience cot death – the only other person I had heard of anywhere was Anne Diamond,” said Emma.
“One of my coping mechanisms was to call everybody I knew to let them know what had happened before anybody else told them. The feedback I have had was that I was very blunt. Very matter of fact.
“I look back and I realise it must have been awful for them. Some people would cross the street rather than talk to me because they didn’t know what to say. People didn’t want to visit me and it was the same with my family.
“It was such a horrible time. But you are so focused on yourself and your family that you don’t realise what other people are going through. I would have done things differently but you do what you feel is right for you.”
We met for lunch to take the story forward, and we chose The Old Lamp Room partly because of the quality of the fare and quirkiness of the décor, but also to acknowledge the resilience of the owner.
Kasha opened the building, which actually is an old lamp room on Cottingham station, at the beginning of March 2020. We all know what happened next. She kept the business afloat during lockdown by offering takeaway picnic boxes and cakes so spectacular that the restaurant almost doubles as an art gallery.
As Covid subsided, cancer emerged. Kasha confronts it with a determination to establish the restaurant as one of the region’s culinary stars, regardless of whether she will be around to see it.
DETERMINATION: Kasha Gravill when she opened The Old Lamp Room in 2020
Partner Mark Vine, whose day job is in communications systems for emergency services and the military, has transformed the interior into a stylish array of eye-catching curios which are as random as it gets. You might find the odd nod to the rail heritage tucked away in a corner but the giraffe, zebra and rhino will grab your attention first. And those cakes.
From a simple coffee shop, the Old Lamp Room added breakfast, brunch and lunch, then acclaimed Sunday dinners. When the Black Horse at Little Weighton closed last year chef Wendy Rowley joined the team and introduced fine dining supper clubs which sell out weeks ahead.
We took our group there over two nights in April, and diners were delighted with a venue which they rated as one of the best during our ten-year history.
For lunch we kept it relatively simple. Agreeing quickly that this would be a long conversation, car free and to be continued in the Duke of Cumberland, Emma had roast chicken focaccia and I chose the smoked salmon salad. We washed it down with a bottle of sauvignon blanc and resisted the cake on the basis that it could prove a burden to the Stella at the Duke.
On the way it was a pleasure to bump into Diana Johnson who was returning from a canvassing stroll round Cottingham Market. From our table in the Duke, gazing across the Market Green over a pint of Stella each, we ponder the political landscape, but not for long.
“People should stop worrying about things that are out of their control but they should do everything within their power to make things better,” said Emma.
“In business that’s things like customer service because it’s our responsibility to make sure we do that right. But if it’s something you can’t control don’t worry about it. Concentrate on where you can make a difference.”
We order more Stella and explore the business themes, particularly around training and development. Lauren’s big sister Holly works in hospitality. Younger brother Jacob has secured a joinery apprenticeship. I mention that they can learn a lot from their mum who, as operations director at telephone and mobile comms specialist Cobus, is committed to helping young people identify and seize opportunities in circumstances which are challenging for everybody.
COMMON PURPOSE: David Burnby, Phil Ascough and Emma Waudby
“There has been more change in the last three years than in my 25 years of management,” said Emma.
“Every single person has been affected by world change. A lot of people’s expectations have changed significantly and as a business we have been on a massive learning curve.”
Emma admits to having been “a bit of a wild child”, working in a local bar when she was 15 and getting her first proper job as a YTS at Lunn Poly Travel. She followed that with 16 years at the Hull Daily Mail, starting in telesales and rising through the ranks before joining Cobus in 2016, becoming a director in 2021 and operating as number two to MD Michael Smith.
“He’s very good at training and has a lot of patience and really gets to grips with it.” said Emma.
“A lot of businesses have lost that. They put people on a course or an online link and ask them to learn but there’s a lack of resource, time and passion. Everybody is looking too much at the here and now, trying to survive from one week to the next.”
We discuss some of the messages from the recent Humber Business Week and the inspiration derived from Paul Sewell and Ragini Annan at the Elevenses session, and David Kilburn and Natsha Barley at the HullBID Inspiring People dinner.
David Burnby, who nearly 30 years ago brought Common Purpose to Hull, joins us in the Duke and tells Emma about the programme which played such a huge part in transforming awareness and attitudes by uniting key figures from business, local government, health, education, culture and the rest to learn from each other. We tell him to bring it back.
Emma said: “I like to learn from a lot of people. I’m not about just listening to a podcast – I like to be inspired. I’m always second guessing myself and I am never 100 per cent confident but as I get older that’s a really good trait to have because there are too many people who think they are brilliant at things.
“I don’t have the ultimate responsibility of people relying on me to pay the mortgage and feed the family so I have a massive appreciation for Mike and others who are running businesses in these difficult times.
“I know I can be better at my job and better for the company and I’m looking for people and courses who can enhance what I do. After eight years with Mike at Cobus, and four of them since Covid, we get each other. It’s a good relationship, we are on the same vision and the same road and we are still excited for the future.
“I still see opportunities and potential and I want to grab that because there is still so much to achieve. I want to do well and I want Cobus to be great.”
Emma and husband Pete are eternally grateful to Mike and Cobus for supporting their fundraising campaign. Through their personal and professional networks they also built their own team of event specialists including Rachael Austin, Jane Smallwood, sister in law Victoria Tyson, and Beth Mears, owner of room stylists Peony & Pearl.
When Hull City’s final home game of the season was selected for live TV coverage, forcing a late change of venue, they found the DoubleTree by Hilton eager to help. Yet more support came from far and wide, smashing the original target of raising £21,000 to mark the 21-year milestone.
“We had raised £22,000 over the past 21 years, even before the £35,000 from the ball and the other events,” said Emma.
“More donations have been coming in and we still have some great things to auction so we’ll think about how to do that.”
The money will go to The Lullaby Trust, which raises awareness of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). The 21st birthday campaign will end on September 6, but Emma and Peter are conscious that there is likely to be more to come.
CELEBRATION: Emma Waudby at the fundraising dinner
“We are not going to do anything specific after September 6”, said Emma.
“If funds trickle in then so be it but it got to the point where we felt we had to do something every year and we didn’t want to continue like that. We’re looking at other ideas which will help us keep supporting causes but with less strain.
“You get a special feeling when you raise money and it helps with the grieving process because you are doing something positive. I was a mum with a mission. I really wanted it and I still struggle to find the words for how incredibly supportive every single person I came across was.
“We might do something for her 30th or 40th but not her 22nd. I need to slow down but I won’t be sitting back and doing nothing.”
To donate to the fundraising total visit https://www.justgiving.com/team/laurenrose21